I need some help on conversation starters, please

:: zaphod :: · Post by **:: zaphod ::** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:01 pm

I went on my first date with this girl I really like, we've already established that we like eachother. I took her to eat and it was so irritating because I didn't know what to say :( .. We did talk about the most basic things like school, music, her friends and stuff. But then yesterday she wanted me to call her so I did, and we talked for about an hour.. but it feels like most of that was silence. I knew she was waiting for me to talk first but I suck at using the phone ;< I tried bringing up such topics out of the blue to ask, but it seemed so akward. After a long silence, this doesnt sound that natural: "soooo.. what are things you ilke to do?"

please soem help would be nice, she wants me to call again today after 5 (in about 2 hours from now). I don't want it to be like before.

keep in mind though i already know stuff about her, i dont think im giong to know much more, so those questions are kidn of out. i also know where she goes to school and stuff, we talked about that on our date.

pr0kch0p · Post by **pr0kch0p** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:06 pm

wasssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppp!

LOLL, that always makes me laugh!

:: zaphod :: · Post by **:: zaphod ::** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:07 pm

wasssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppp!

LOLL, that always makes me laugh!

lolollool im sure that will get her juices flowing :rolleyes:

:: zaphod :: · Post by **:: zaphod ::** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:24 pm

another thing is, i dont mean real conversation starters.. i mean i COULD ask liek "whats your favorite_?" over and over, but that would get annyoing very fast. i mean more interesting things.. i just dont fucknig know!

nimec · Post by **nimec** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:46 pm

heh im in the same situation right now. ?I'm afraid to go on aim cuz if this girl is on there we got nothin to really talk about. ?I think she may like me cuz he seems to try to have a convo, the only prob is we got nothin to talk bout...cept alcohol...:D thats it. ?Anyway, the best thing to do is try to find things that you both like and then go from there. ?For example if your both movie buffs then talk about all the movies you have seen and the ones you gotta see. ?Then you can rent the good ones watch them together. ?Or maybe she likes the same music as you, you could go to the record store and browse around and just talk bout diff music. ?Really all you need is a few things that you have in common and your set cuz once you become really comfortable around her it wont be hard to make a converstion, youll be able to talk about pointless things and laugh. ?

Also situations or events that happen to you when your together can help. ?Like if your at the mall and one of you points someone out doing something stupid or you see something to talk about.

heh this is pretty funny cuz I was actually gonna make a post just like your zaphod and as far as conversations this is all i know. I know this stuff helps me but its only some stuff.

Shit it boils down to this, when you two are truely comfortable around each other, it will be easy to talk bout stuff, or if you got the same hobby.

EDIT: I thought of something else, you can talk about where you think your gonna go in life, like what your plans are and stuff like that, all you need is something good to start a conversation and thats it.

Minkee · Post by **Minkee** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:49 pm

Ask her a lot of questions.. well that doesn't always work, but I like to know what home life is like for the girl.. parents, cats, ect. Find one common interest and talk about it.. its easy..

Kindred · Post by **Kindred** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:56 pm

First you need to find a baselne of things the two of you have in common. ?Finding out what her interests are is pretty much a given. ?If you share interest you can talk about that if you dont you can inquire about one of hers. ?You both sound like shy young men with not enough self confidence(dont worry lots of people are, I even was when I went out with my first GF). ?As for not being able to know anymore about her.... Oh my young padawan you have much too learn. ?

*Kindred takes zaphod as his padawan learner.

P.S. Nimec did give you some decent advice. ?And as for the truly comforatble part nimec... well that is why marriages used (I say used too because to many people get married on whims and etc. so marriages dont last like they used too.) last so long because it took all 50years of grandma and grandmas marriage to fully gt comfortable with each other.

I have married going on 4 years and me and the wife still dont always see eye to eye and have stuff to talk about.

Kindred · Post by **Kindred** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 8:57 pm

Oops I forgot one basic thing... BE YOURSELF. Dont be or pretrend to be someone else because it will only lead to eventually misery on one or both parts.

:: zaphod :: · Post by **:: zaphod ::** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 9:06 pm

First you need to find a baselne of things the two of you have in common. ?Finding out what her interests are is pretty much a given. ?If you share interest you can talk about that if you dont you can inquire about one of hers. ?You both sound like shy young men with not enough self confidence(dont worry lots of people are, I even was when I went out with my first GF). ?As for not being able to know anymore about her.... Oh my young padawan you have much too learn. ?

*Kindred takes zaphod as his padawan learner.

P.S. Nimec did give you some decent advice. ?And as for the truly comforatble part nimec... well that is why marriages used (I say used too because to many people get married on whims and etc. so marriages dont last like they used too.) last so long because it took all 50years of grandma and grandmas marriage to fully gt comfortable with each other.

I have married going on 4 years and me and the wife still dont always see eye to eye and have stuff to talk about.

wow thanks for the advice.. btw uh.. you wronte "you both look like shy you men"... lol, no...

what i need some help is on now, how do i find out what she likes? I already did that on our last phone call, i just said "so what kind of things do you like" and that was ok i guess, she just said the average.. nothing i could feed off of though. I already know we like different types of music, she watches some movies but not alot. She does like half life though (lol).. and NO shes not a fat pimply geek. shes very cool, and very hot too. What might be some other ways to phrase this question so it doesnt look like im asking again. I remember doing this too, i asked again to get a different answer, but she took it to mean that i didnt pay attention teh first time, and she pretendedly got mad like "hey! pay attention travis"

the otehr thing is.. uh, what are some good acknowledging lines? like she tells me alot of stories and i feel like a jerk when i keep going "oh, i see" or "ok", "wow" , "huh" etc. etc.

thanks again kindred

Kindred · Post by **Kindred** » Fri Jan 03, 2003 9:25 pm

Ok see now she sounds like she is shy too. Giving average responses is a sign either being shy or disinterest. From your posts I dont think it is disinterest. Man you really are new at this. ;) A good way to "acknowledge" is to either ask questions pertaiing to the event(even if you already know the answers to your questions), after completion of a story turn it in to a discussion. Even if its off on a tangent of something that the story made you think of. Just dont go to far off into the wild cause that will get you weird looks.(Trust I did it with the wife a few time, rofl).