My brother is getting married this weekend and I will be in a place called Kingsport, Tennessee!
I had my sisters wedding in bum fuck, Texas last month and I hope this will be better.
PS: Save me :(
I don't think think there's anyone ;0 dudes even remotely near Tennessee. Last time I checked they still didn't have computers or the internet there.
And seriously your family lives in the dumpiest areas. It should also be noted southern California is not a desirable area. Start driving east and don't stop until you hit the coast, or until your car sinks.
East coast for life.