g'day
my mates are about to start work on a film that they have written about ninjas. they live down the road etc. i'm not saying this is a good script or anything like that (aahah) but i think it'd be really cool for you guys to read it and add input on how something should be done or if something should be added / taken out.
what would be really awesome would be if someone (piket) shot the film from the script too. it'd be great to compare the too and see how everyone puts a personal touch on stuff. would be very interesting.
anyway:
"The Open-Source Ninja"
Plot Summary: A Ninja adopts the ancient ways of "open-source" after a
life-altering Windows crash. He flips out and kills every single microsoft
employee on the planet. Then he gets laid by a hot, user-friendly Linux
chick.
[version 1]
Scene 1:
"The Crash"
A Ninja is sitting at his computer checking his email. One of the emails is
from his sensai. The subject says "Please Help me, Ninja. Come quickly".
When the ninja clicks on the 'read' button, windows SUDDENLY crashes and the
blue screen of death appears. Quite understandably (and emphasised with
guitar-schreeching and fast-motion strobing effects), the ninja flips out
and slashes the computer with his awesome katana blade. Blood sprays out of
the computer screen. One of the Ninja's co-workers looks a little troubled
by the site of a computer monitor spraying blood-and-guts, but someone else
explains that a ninja sword can make anything bleed.
The Ninja jumps out of the window and everyone else gets back to work cause
they suck and don't have anything better to do.
Scene 2:
"The Journey Home"
The Ninja makes his way back to his sensai's dojo. Using traditional Ninja
travelling techniques, the Ninja sneaks up to the side of a busy high-way,
pulls up one trouser leg, thumbs for a hitch and is soon picked up by a guy
in a beat-up car (only cause the budget won't allow for a hot babe in a
porche).
The driver, with a thick southern drawl, introduces himself as "Bubba
Fuckmesister". This guy might seem like an inbred red-neck, but he is
actually an inbred pirate, and wants to kill the Ninja so he can steal all
of the Ninja's cool stuff (including his throwing stars and iPod, which the
Ninja left on the center console). The driver turns his head towards the
ninja, revealing to the ninja that he is wearing an eye-patch. They stare
each other down. Someone is about to lose body parts faster than a leper in
a clothes dryer.
The Pirate tries to kick the Ninja out of the car. The Ninja flips out and
decapitates the pirate with a Celine Dion CD (which was sitting on the
dash). The Pirate's head falls out the car window. The Ninja gets out of the
car and decides to fly home instead.
Scene 3:
"Maximum Flipage"
The Ninja arrives home to find his dojo destoryed and his sensai has been
totured to death.
The Sensai is lying on his back with a copy of Windows XP Home Edition
shoved into his mouth.
To say the Ninja flips-out would be a massive understatement. A black and
white slow-motion shot reveals that tears are welling in the Ninja's eyes. A
rockin' techno tune kicks in (which gets the audience so pumped they start
humping each other's legs). The Ninja is so frustrated he starts trashing
the Dojo. Lot's of inanimate objects are spraying blood all over the place.
[music stops] A student walks in and says "what are you doing? This is our
home, this is YOUR home, Ninja!" The Ninja shakes his head with
disaproval,[music starts] then he cuts off the dead Sensai's arm and smashes
the student in the throat with it, killing him instantly. The Ninja's eyes
are glowing red. He is ready. Ready to kill Bill (Gates).
Scene 4:
"Sneak into Microsoft HQ"
Using traditional Ninja travelling techniques, the Ninja reaches for his
mobile phone and dials a taxi. The Taxi driver turns out to be the headless
pirate "Bubba Fuckmesister", who declares "You can't kill me by cutting off
my head, cause me brains are in me ass! You dumbass! haahahahaha".
The Ninja reaches into his utility belt and produces a bright pink dildo.
Bubba runs for his life cause he know he is about to get his brains fucked
out. The Ninja loads his cross bow with the projectile of choice.
The next shot shows a headless Bubba running towards the camera with an
air-borne dildo in hot pursuit. In true Appolo 13 style, the dildo breaks in
half, leaving behind the first fuel tank and ignites its after-burners. The
dildo tears a hole in bubba's trousers and penetrates him deeply, destroying
every last thought provoking neuron left in his frazzled rectum.
The Ninja decides to fly instead.
Scene 5:
"Revenge"
The Ninja kills a heap of people (need some details here). Then paper cuts
bill gate's head off with the Red-Hat instruction manual.
Scene 6 [short scene]
"user friendly"
The Ninja takes Bill's head to Steve Jobs, and presents it to him on
platter. Steve rewards the ninja by lending him a super hot, user-friendly
Linux chick for the night. The Ninja's eye's return to normal, and he gets a
stiffy.
---------- the end -------------
[This script is so damn hot, I cracked myself under the chin with a 3 foot
boner and dislodged a filling]
thanks for all the input and ideas etc!
:cool: