I have known a lot of you for a while now and I've seen all of you grow-up. At first this tight-knit community was full of flaming kids who didn't know what life was. I don't know how old most of you are), I do know that a lot of you are growing, some of you are my age, but a lot of you are younger. This may or may not be an appropriate thread for ;0 and I feel with age comes maturity and maturity comes more complex situations.
Here I go.
I am writing this because I am a frustrated as to why I stress myself out by having people living with me
I don't know how you people who live alone or whatever can deal with roommates.
It drives me so low in some ways and seriously to the point of insanity.. I can't stand people older then me who don't work and expect the world to offer everything to them.. They expect respect for having no money, no job.. Though I give them the chance by letting them live here for free. I do this because I've known them for years. As I've grown as a person they've turned into the most negative imbeciles on earth. I learn a lot from this.. I've already kicked one guy out (who begged me for hours to let him stay) and I am about to boot the other out. I see that generosity can hurt a person, but how? For me it hurts me emotionally, I get enraged by being around fools and fucking beggers. Though I do control what goes on in my place, I put myself through incredible amounts of stress for no apparent reason. So you'd think the most suitable sollution to this would be to kick them out and either find a new roomy or live by yourself. That should be the best option.
It all comes down to what would happen to these guys if they get the boot. I know that the one guy is currently homeless and I really don't give a rats ass where he is right now. The other guy who is still with me who has a few assets would be homeless as well. By having no money he is totally fucked and relying on me and has no concept of indepenence. I find it hard to hurt a person this way (by sending them to the street).
I've recently spent an enormous ammount of time in therapy to try and deal with having an avoidant personality. As I've been deemed "cured" and the thought and pain of seeing a therapist for a good 4 months is frightening. I feel I may or may not be avoiding a serious circumstance by losing another one of the people that are or were close to me in my life. But, life would move on and as it's told 'everything happens for a reason'. As I try to figure this out and the sheer simplicity of this situation with the last roomy may amaze some of you but for me it is very fucking complex. I once relied on smokine dope for these kinds of situations, but now I contemplate every situation and nearly every possible outcome. I am still trying to figure out the outcome of this.
enough of this pointless rave about one of the few things that bother me in life.
My next rave will be about every kid on the internet who plays computer games 24/7 and those who have no idea of what having a social life in the real world.
Fuck it I'll just keep writing.
Take a piss break, smoke a big fucking joint. Pop your acid because here is a hayday of bullshit!
This is from my POV
I was once gobbled up with this newly found fad called cyberspace. I find it intriguing that a lot of these people who are on irc, who play counter-strike and are in clans. They are still in school, struggling to keep their pathetic C average. Have no goals in life, no concept of time or even know what a breath of fresh air is like. They have problems with their parents, denial would be a huge thing for them. I do belive a lot of these people avoid confrontations with reality. I can say this first hand because I've been through it, I conquered it and I am very fucking happy to say I'm through it. Am I wrong or am I right? I want your opinions/experiences with this.
I do believe that if you could play cs/talk on irc untill the early hours of the morning and be late for school/work and kick yourself in the ass the next night saying FUCK because you failed your mid-term. That is an addiction. You can not say otherwise.
I will cut this rave short as I feel I've vented my thoughts for the days.
I hope you are all doing well, having a great start to your summer.
-mr_gee